Say Yes

You watch the world through scratched glasses,
as the apes fight in their funny jumpsuits.
Something like... he said she said we said we were... and then it was lost.
And my brain is sideways, and my heart is a pool of gushing love in your hand.
There is nothing to fear, but the baton swing hears that one day riot pays off.
In the end, we are all just anemics trying to void sharp objects.
Cutting corners whilst trying not to cut our wrists.
And the twists and the turns of the rhythms we speak burn.
Down our throats, the alcohol coats our memories in gift wrap.
presents for the present as I smile at you, you're smiling back.
And like a slap to the face, the people without names come to attack.
We're stuck in that familiar place, backseats and woodlands like memories of higher ground.
Before rain struck and washed away all that was once around.
And if you know my name, then why do you say it wrong?
And if you know my name, why aren't the feelings gone?

She whispers willow trees breezes on autumn days just like this.
Cool air meeting warm breath, tornado.
Silk binding her hands to a rocking chair.
The one on your porch...
The one your grandfather built.

And just to say yes isn't enough.
It's to say "We say yes" that means the most.

And I'm saying yes while nodding no.

red is the new pink

The world is a cross between bubblegum and blood.
and I am caught somewhere in the middle.
Lost in cyber space.
Wondering what its like to feel Aspen air.

Sky Goddess

There is distance between me and my moons.
All spiralling endlessly around my body, yet unreachable.
And every time I pray for change, the only thing that comes is high tide, hurricanes, and mood swings.
All my planets aligning and dispersing their way across my galaxy..
There is distance between me and the ones I love.
Whether miles apart, and sitting in the seat next to me.
If you are not holding my hand, I don't care if you orbit around me.
I'm still alone if I can't feel anything.


Do we feel gravity? I don't.
I don't feel anything but the weight of your hand.
Grasping me.
Pulling me out of the darkness.


But... You're not. You're crossing your arms and watching me fall.
And asking me why I let myself wander at night.
And telling me how you've warned me.

Regardless. I still need a hand.
I am not myself without my moons :(

Unborn

You play with me, body.
The way a cat plays with a mouse before puncturing it's spinal cord.
You taunt me, body.
The way the homeless are taunted by mattress stores.
I am not afraid of you, but god damnit I wish I could control you.
And the blood I've bared and the hands I have let go of do not matter anymore.
You're preparing me for the worst, all while killing the best of my soul.
My happiness, my greed, my pride, my heart..
And I'll hold my belly and pray.
That some day.
I'll be ready.

Til then.
Blood.


I am not a mother.

Insomnia

My hands scurry across the keyboard...
Jaws unclench between lack of oxygen and sleep deprivation.
Animal eyes twitch.. twitch.. shake between lines of blurry words.
Screaming mouth inhales the bed behind me, whole.
Bickering in the ear over loss of flowing air.
Darkness engulfing shapeless face, unknown.
I am exhausted and yet sleep is the furthest thing from my mind.
I'd rather spend my time here, connected to this web of entangled lives.
Spun around and mixed together into a slurry of color and oddly pronounced english.
Somehow pinky grasping my social life, completely.
And with one swipe of an enter key, available.
For the world to feed on.

Your kids are on drugs.

I've seen the world through the eyes of prostitutes, makeshift mob lackeys and the clerk at the drive through.
I have seen the world through the eyes of a child, a horse, an immigrant being deported.
I have laid my head on roads, sidewalks, traintracks.... In your bed.
And yet, I find myself completely niave to my surroundings.
I feel no danger when I touch your hand.
Even though the poison has already hit my bloodstream.
I am feeling faint. I am feeling weak. Suddenly your thoughts consume mine, and become my own.
I am not human anymore.
I am a pawn.
Just keep holding my hand. Wash away our memories with chapel water and pray for the days before I could say no.
Before I knew the majesty and tragedy of what it meant to know your name.

Entwined

Her skin wilted beneath my kisses, carefully placed...Like train tracks down her spine.
I said "In this moment, you are mine.. and I will never know when my fingerprints will decorate your flesh again..."
And she agreed, with a moan.. in the sort of tone you hear only when people are dying, or in love.
I know she never loved me.
Eyes bringing in the tide and swaying her motionless hip across my bare lap.
My eyebrow rising and falling, much like our slow breaths, greeting each other with a kiss... a hello and a goodbye in one single embrace.
She started to say "I don't like it when you..." and I found myself entangled with her legs. Bodies twisting in a bed, knotting and nodding in and out of bliss.
I said "Will this end? Are we even friends?"
and she smiled, and bit into my neck.
And I moaned...in the sort of tone you hear only when people are dying, or in love.
And I know I never loved her.