Miss take

I find myself in pain as my head is banged against the walls of these ideas for ever more I am yours in the cement you have created for me, my chamber so I am destined to sleep here, against the cold rock floor, in order to give you happiness, in order to make you smile... in order for me to die a little bit with each breath as I hold your hand.

Nighttime affair.

You'd think it would be understandable that I was never awake.
For those moments when my eyes met yours, and I felt your truth and warmth against my body.
And every moment after was a dream... Spiritually alluring and miraculous.
And as I scream your name and find heaven in your palms....
I see through all that exists to a reality we can create.
Under the mystery of the covers.
In a bed that can never be made, just lives.
In a home that was never our own...
Until the night we found each other.
Comforting.


For every night after I found myself asleep.
Awaking as my doppelganger in your arms again...
In someone else's sheets.

Pigtails

Every little girl waits in line for the white utility van.
Living day after day hoping one day the door will slide open.
Ragged to face, head on the metal floor.
Zip ties and strip mall fantasies speeding by,
twitching of the eye as the lights dance past like a parasol's twirl.

And I shall keep you. Your new name is Anna. I am a software engineer, you are home schooled.
Your mother died three years ago, and we are very close.

He said, sipping monochromatic tea out of a shot glass behind a white Pickett fence.
Nightfall brings safety pinned clothing to ensure their placement, though it never stops your pants from sliding to your ankles.
In a pink bed, with a floral pattern.
Clasped hand over screaming young mouths.

She said "I'll let you borrow my soul"
And greedily he took it,
allowing it to fall into the abyss of his dark side.
Eating the candy leading to the guillotine.

Your neck was the perfect fit.
Too bad the blade is so damn dull.

The Taking.

One. Pressed. Pair. Of. Lips.
Destined for every inch of your body, glistening.
Whimpers and whispers and delightful banter as my tongue caresses your skin like a flower.
Bare hand touches Bare hand.
Bare hand touched Bare thigh.
Bare thigh touches Bare leg.
Bare leg wraps around bare torso.
Bare torso presses down on bare breasts.
Bare Breasts exhaul loudly through pressed lips.
Pressed lips find the words "I love you" on the caressing tongue..


And blank mind finds bliss.

Beautiful.

Relapse

I inhale your smoke deeply like the summer's dusty smiles on the harbor.
And as my teeth break on every ounce of bone beneath your torn skin,
I understand the true meaning of "Red is your color".
I enjoy every inch of whatever it is I am eating,
and soon I know, in my heart, it's your soul.
Dripping sinister like Mary's foul mouth on Sunday's mass.
The lamb on the table, next to the salt, poured into each wound.
Intricately designed in webbing of my eyes, entangled and hanging patiently..
Awaiting the death to engulf you like the sea beneath your smile.
Sun licking the tips of your fingers, begging for aloe vera and the singing of the passing leaves.
I know the little girl who stands day after day selling flowers on the highway.
She is me, at night, when I slip on my stockings and walk downtown barefoot.
Flashing cars that drive by in hopes one will stop, kidnap me, and I'll end up tomorrows trash.
Compacted into a tiny cube, stored beneath the Earth awaiting for rebirth.

Into the flower..
She sells today.
A red rose.

How beautiful.

Just keep chewing.

Suddenly Eclipse

My heart pounds in the pit of my stomach
and every time I open my eyes, I can't see through the murky water ahead.
like swimming with tunnel vision, my breath becoming rapid like the hurricane winds that only exist with the rare flap of a gilded butterfly wing.
I am mesmerized by the light behind your eyes.
I am naked in front of your soul, ice breaking against my legs like glass.


I'm drowning.

No communication.

I've sealed so many envelopes in my life.
Words of intention licked to the edges,
Packed silently away, a memory and a postage paid.
And into my bag, slipped for safe keeping.

I've kept to many address books in my life.
Phone numbers memorized and programmed into every device.
Voices echoing through the receiver.
and into my mind, other's words are absorbed.

I've hugged so many people.
I've told so many the truth.
I've said I love you.
We've both cried over lost time.

Why?

Everyone knows the only hope we have is in a lost title.
Stuck somewhere between morality and insanity.

But you... Every time I pick up a pen,

I write entire essays, fill envelopes..
I always tear up your cards and letters.

I pick up the phone, I dial your number.
But the call never connects. I hang up.
Or leave messages I know you'll never return.

This isn't war, or hate, or disgust.

I simply cannot live with my past.
And you.. are the holder of it.

I'm so sorry.